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Beds, Nooks, and Rest for Black Women at Home
- Jamila M.
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
For those of us in the US northeast, autumnal weather has truly arrived. At 6:30 am today I was staring out of the window from my little nook. The tall pines in my neighbors yard were moving back and forth, the sky was gray and a misty drizzle was falling. I was wrapped up in a blanket my eldest daughter gave me that is our favorite color, purple. The blanket is covered in affirmations. When I am draped in its cozy warmth, I imagine the words “warm hugs, healing energy, peace, positive thoughts” penetrating my pajama layer and skin to get at my spirit. It reminds me that the dark and cold can bring reassurance and comfort too.
I managed to free myself from my cozy nook to get dressed and take a walk in the rain. I returned with bagels to share with my husband. After we ate and had coffee, I went back to my office to start working on the Black Women at Home Project. Lately, that work looks like editing interview transcripts, writing entries for the book (more about that to come!), and thinking about what to share with my sisters via email.
In a time when Chat GBT or Google’s Gemini AI can make quick work of things, it is tempting to let it do all of one’s thinking for you. I yielded to that temptation this morning but, being the fallible tool that it is, AI just wasn’t responding with the answer I was looking for. Gratefully, I heeded the message and the gift to slow down. That led me to working on the transcript from the interview I did with my little sister, Naomi. She and my oldest daughter, Briana, are the same age - twenty-eight.
The first question I ask in the Black Women at Home Project interviews is what does the word home mean to you. The answers have similarities as well as several distinctions that honor our unique experiences. On a blustery and cold day like this, it was warming to reflect on my sister’s answer. (Did I mention that our heat isn’t working? It is cold in my house.) A part of Naomi’s response was,
When I think of home I think of my bed - of where I sleep - [and] who I'm going to see when I get home....When I think of home when I am at work, and I'm like Oh, I can't wait to get home, those are the two things I'm thinking about.
Reading this made me think of my time in my nook this morning. The nook is a small alcove in my office between the window and the fireplace (it doesn’t work, today I really wish it did). The base of the nook is a twin-sized Japanese floor futon that was stored in the closet until the next big sleepover for my 11 year old daughter. It's covered with a softly weaved area rug and is surrounded by colorful pillows of various shapes and sizes. A basket is nearby with blankets, including the purple one. A small lap desk, my journal and pen, as well as inspirational books and card decks usually are askew on the floor next to me too. My altar with plants, candles, and incense is on a table within arms reach.
I leave my bed early in the morning and come down to the nook, still in my pajamas. Covered in a blanket, I often meditate
while laying down there. The nook is grounding, and a second bed. There’s a simplicity to associating home with a bed, with comfort and rest. And, I know that too often Black women are not getting the rest we need. For some, we work from bed, don’t spend enough time in it, or are dissatisfied with our bed because we wake up in pain from a too firm or soft mattress. Whatever the case, our rest from bed is too little or too disturbing to be restorative. If we are getting good rest, thank goodness!
As we arrive in more layers and with less sunshine to Fall, I want to know from Black women:
Related to rest
What, if anything, are you doing to prepare yourself for a good night’s sleep?
What is in the way of you getting enough sleep on a consistent basis?
What makes you sleep well at night?
Related to home
What does the word home mean to you?
Answer by leaving a comment in the blog post.
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